Week TWO: Philia at AUAF

The second Women’s Empowerment Workshop took place at the American University of Afghanistan. Nargis blogged for Philia about her experience:

This time the first 30 minutes of the Philia Session were devoted towards reflection time and to the practice of peer coaching.

First, we had quiet time for ourselves in order to reflect on the last week after the Philia Introduction Session and to fill in our first Progress Report. We were asked to take time to reflect on our goals in particular. So, we had a look at our previous week and wrote down the goals we had set, progressed on or achieved. We used the worksheet given to us with the exercise of using the Wheel of Life in order to set our goals in a structured and balanced way. Further, we reflected on the barriers that we faced in the last week.

Then it was time for our first Philia Peer Coaching Session. During the peer coaching session, all pairs shared their written progress reports with their Philia Partners for the first time. Their peer coaching partner could practice listening and giving feedback.

Personally, to me, it felt really relieving when I went over the activities of the past week and saw my progress. What felt comforting was that I realised that I am not alone in my struggles, but that my partner had to go through similar struggles too in a way. There was a great level of understanding between us throughout our conversation. It feels so great when you have someone who listens deeply. And I realised this:

Goals are like oxygen to our hopes and dreams. Setting goals is like setting directions for ourselves of where we want to head towards in any aspect of our lives.

After the Philia Coaching Session Nicole gave us more information on how to set goals effectively. The most interesting part of the lecture on goal setting was that you need to set goals that are specific to YOU, not other people. I have noticed that it is true that many people from the young generation go for a choice in life just because their families tell them to; especially in the context of Afghanistan. In fact, they have no personal interest in these goals.

So I realised that no one is going to live your life but you. So, it is important to always stick to what you expect from yourself and not to what the society expects of you. Also, it is important to set goals from a growth mindset, not a fixed mindset. But at the same time, we should not become hopeless, if we cannot achieve a goal in life because it is not the END OF LIFE.

It is always helpful to be flexible and to already have other possible ways to advance in life. If one of your goals does not work out just go for another one. 😉 Don’t make life complicated.

Thank you for your views, Nargis!

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